Ladies, when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, sometimes we are a hot mess… So I’m sharing with you some rules that have helped me and some of my friends navigate through the jungle of love.
RULE #1– You will not be alone forever.
Not all guys are good enough for you. Don’t feel like you have to stay with one or find one instead of being alone. If you find your happy place alone, you will glow and that glow will attract a guy…. but always remember, you have the right to be picky.
Which brings us to…
RULE #2– Being Alone Will Strengthen You and Your Strength Will Be Your Bait.
This rule has mini rules attached to it:
a. Learn/Play a sport- endorphins + self- esteem through sense of accomplishment + Being active = You 2.0
Pro: You never know who you might meet.
Not good at one? Try another. Take some dance classes or even a karate class. Maybe badminton or volleyball is more you. Maybe you want to be a derby girl. Try anything and everything. Just empower yourself.
*I’ll also include yoga in this even though it’s not a sport but you can do it in a group setting and it can be a workout, I’m just sayin’… Anything that keeps you limber and centered, can’t be wrong!
b. Get a hobby.
From restoring old furniture, to sewing, painting and drawing or something as simple as taking free courses- always stretch the boundries of your mind. Knowledge is power- get that tattooed somewhere.
c. When you learn to be by yourself, you won’t need anyone else.
The point isn’t to attach yourself to another person, it’s to be in love WITH another person. Be with someone that always makes you smile- yes arguments will happen but do you feel like less of a person when it’s over? When you’re happy being alone you won’t feel the need to run into the arms of
Not wanting to be alone isn’t the right reason for being in a relationship. Yea, I said it- And I’ll say it again.
A man is not a safety blanket.
RULE #3-Don’t follow your friends into a marriage or kids.
I will say that some women are just not born to be mothers. Controversial, I know. Just because you have a uterus , doesn’t necessarily mean that you were meant to conceive.There are those who are clearly meant to be parents and there’s nothing wrong with that but you owe it to yourself and future offspring to know if that’s you.
My goals involve working well into my retirement, travelling the world and being free to be me… And even though they would be working adults by then- in order to make it there I would have to work long hours and sacrifice many an engagement. By putting a kid into the middle of that would be a catastrophe.
To make my point, kids are crazy expensive, which means I would just watch my dreams dissolve before my eyes, leading to my eventual resentment… and no kid needs or deserves that.
Yes, I would be a better executive than a mom (full stop)
Besides, down the road some of those marriages are going to end in divorce and ugliness and some of those kids are going to be total asses- for the rest of their lives.
RULE #4–Make mistakes
Well short of putting your coochie coo or a sex tape out for the world to see- because then there’s a point of reference out there for all to see and that can’t be good.
A good part of knowing what you want, is knowing why you want it.
I once new a girl that made the guys go gaga but she refused to date any boy in her high school. She then graduated to ‘ he has to have a car, an apartment and buy me jewelry.’ She found her ‘catch’ and he cheated on her, made her fat and stole her youth. Thankfully, her tale doesn’t end there- After travelling to lands far away and landing herself a kick ass career, she is happy and once again glowing! And sometimes she even let’s a guy join her for a while.
Try different types of relations and different types of guys. (responsibly- Ladies take care of yo shit and review Rule #3) Sometimes, the thing you want isn’t always the thing you thought you wanted but you only realised after you’ve tried it, that you actually wanted something different all along… You know?
The point is make mistakes but evolve and blossom in the face of your challenges- find yourself and he will find you.
THE GOLDEN RULE
Want more for yourself.
Settle only for being happy in everything and everyone you do. (wink)
- We’re Living In A ‘Post-Dating World’ And The Old Rules Don’t Apply (businessinsider.com)
- Dating With Options. (elephantjournal.com)
- A “Match” Made Online (weddingbee.com)